My names not Gazza.
Look I let her win. It was a girl after all. I didn’t rally hit her and I pretended to get my face smashed in so there. If it had been a bloke like Barry McGuigan or Frank Bruno I would have smashed their heads in.
I am all things man. I wear Lynx africa. I drink Cinzano Lager. I eat small children (note to police I have never visited Jersey) I have never worn make up. I can do 40 push ups. I’ve been to watch a football match once.
So event though it may look like I was beaten up by a girl I wasn’t. OK! I was just letting her look good.
What do you mean I’m protesting too much? I am not. Am I?
Oh FUCK it. She beat me up. I’m no longer a man. I’m now james new wife. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME GOD?
