I’ve always thought that I’d be great in a band – its just my lack of musical prowess that holds me back…. until now.

If you have watched the latest 11th you’ll know that I met the organizer and reigning UK Air guitar championship. Lovely guys; what Lemmy would be if he wasn’t a smack head.

But this is just the first part of this show as on the August the 8th at the UK Airguitar Championships 08 Johnny Hotsausage is coming out of retirement to take on the best the UK has to offer. Here he is supporting the Damned with his band the Spunk rockets back in 07…

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And for once ‘m actually going to prepare for something. I have an entrance planned, a costume and a “gimmick” (it involves my underwear)

At the moment I can’t decide on a song. These are some of the early front runners…..

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The advice I got was to choose something that has a wild guitar section, speed changes are also a good. So if you fancy letting me know any suggestions then that’d be lovely, or if you want to be my Air groupie then I can also accommodate that.

These guys rock! Can’t wait until the 8th of August when I will be performing my own air guitar routine at the 2008 uk air guitar champs….make sure you come along and see me live in action.

Its up and I’m a stone cold killer!

Actually I’m not, I’m a terrible boxer and somehow fluked a check mate (ten years, 2 games, 2 wins – I am all that is man) Tim Woolgar (Mr Chess Boxing) swears that he didn’t let me win and me and my ego believe hi. So if anyone fancies themselves in a game of chess then be prepared as I am then new Bobby Fisher.

This is how I felt when I got home

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The one thing missing from the show is James getting his head kicked in by Tim that I filmed at the end…… watch this blog as I intend to get it……

A new day a new episode. and The eleventh Commandment finally washes up on some musical shores. And what better shores than those of the bleeps.

Now Remy the front guy has actually worked on this show, he did some of the fantastic graphics on some of the earlier episodes, but before the words nepo and tistic are bellowed from the roof tops or the word bribery I would just like to say that we did the show cause we think his music is top and on the bribery aspect the only thing I got off him was a Bleeps T-shirt which was a small. It didn’t even cover one of my ample moobs.

The people who were at the gig are were some of the most enthusiastic I’ve seen for a while. Maybe it was the free booze, maybe it was the music. Maybe there was acid in the water, I have no idea but an atmosphere the place definitely had (considering it was a clothes shop) and I was amazed at the dancing that was on show. I have witnessed that sort of body swerving before but it usually resides at the sweaty end of a club night.

So all in all I reckon we got a good show of them – my intense interview was one of the best I’ve ever done (is this sarcasm? I have no idea myself) and James’s camera work was as usual of the highest order (although he did have a few old man “its a bit noisy” moments. He can’t help it now he’s forty)

The only down side to the whole night was after the gig we didn’t get invited to the after-show party (to be honest though would you invite us!)

A great night out….We went to the carhartt store in Covent Garden to check out the Bleep’s new double a side single ‘ These things happen and Doing so well”

I thought I would at least get a free T shirt..but nah these indy bands are as tight the labels with their money..guess they need to be so that they can spend it on all that sex, drugs and rock n roll stuff…

Yes I do. Not the from the rear kind (although being a Vegetarian keeps me close to that part of natures beauty)but proper wind from the sky’s or wherever wind comes from (I’ve heard ASDA are doing a smart price version) Anyhow thanks to Mark at kitevibe for a great lesson!

Thanks to him, his patience, knowledge, technique, ability to teach, but mainly me and my natural board skills I managed to get flying and moving on a landboard in one lesson. James knows its a great sport but failed to get up on his board and he’s being doing it for years (sorry Mr director thats why you shout action and I get to do it, kinda a perk of the job) and I’m gonna get out there again as soon as I have time..In the meantime its given me an idea for some more shows one on kitesurfing and snow-kiting…..be great fun to head to the beach and the mountains for a few days, and if I could convince the holders of the purse strings at Podshow to pay for it we’d do a whole series on it. Although my Arms were very sore the next day. And not the usual soreness my arms get (its usually more int he wrist for some reason)

I reckon we should do more of these shows cause they are like a fun day out combined with work…. much to James’s chargrin (never used that word before but it looks wicked doesn’t it)

The latest episode is up and if you are a fan of comics then its gonna be for you. If your not then rejioce as you get to see me on the toilet! And that is every young boys dream.

It was top meeting the guys from Titan comics, especially Steve White as I used to be a big comic book fan (2000AD, Toxic, and others) and it wasn’t until I walked in there that I realized how much I used to, and still do love them comics. They are perfect toilet material for real reasons. Great little stories that normally fit the length of your visit And each one is a mini artistic masterpiece – It really is. and I know this cause I have a stack of them in my toilet now, As James keeps moaning at me (and he did get a load himself) then if You’d like one, untouched of course, then email me and one of them could be yours.

Task for today – keep your pants on the outside of your trousers. Go on – you are a super hero.

Yup thats right we’ve got a couple of juicy signed editions of Tank girl for you. All you have to do is answer the question in the ‘Titan Comics” show! that’s the latest one!! First one with the correct answer, who’s name I like and who I think deserves it will get chosen…

I must not digress…Mr Testicles was a cool dude and he convinced me to adopt a bollock there and then which you should all do..and I don’t mean to preach!

But as for me being off colour! well did you see Jimmy the Director/cameraman/goffer.. camerawork? camera shadow in almost every shot and what about exposure MR!!  He can talk..(well he likes to shout..little man syndrome..) admitidly he was ill too..

Anyhow an important subject this so do watch and learn and if this gets one man to go see a doc about he’s balls I’ll be a happy camper..

Look I let her win. It was a girl after all. I didn’t rally hit her and I pretended to get my face smashed in so there. If it had been a bloke like Barry McGuigan or Frank Bruno I would have smashed their heads in.

I am all things man. I wear Lynx africa. I drink Cinzano Lager. I eat small children (note to police I have never visited Jersey) I have never worn make up. I can do 40 push ups. I’ve been to watch a football match once.

So event though it may look like I was beaten up by a girl I wasn’t. OK! I was just letting her look good.

What do you mean I’m protesting too much? I am not. Am I?

Oh FUCK it. She beat me up. I’m no longer a man. I’m now james new wife. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME GOD?