I would recommend using Petco.com to anyone who needs to purchase animal products. Their great website, service, as well as their products make for a most enjoyable shopping experience.

Didn’t know that I could speak dog did you! Well I can and I have to in this episode of the Eleventh as the dog show is where I am. Only a small one mind and its up in the land of the posh (Hampstead) where the dogs live better than I do.

First off its a big thanks to Ira and everyone else at the Mayhew Doggy and Moggy Centre – they do a fantasic job and if it wasn’t for them and all the other animal shelters in London then there would be a lot less unhappy animals.

Then its a sorry to Ingrid “canine wizard” Ramon – we got her website wrong its actually www.ingrid-ramon.com and you can sponsor her in her trek across the artic here www.justgiving.com/ingridramon

Then Roxy, my beautiful Roxy. I know I called her a bitch but hey, she likes it like that….. in the end I couldn’t keep her due to the fascist that owns my flat (he’s not really a fascist – the fascist) but I heard good news that after a false start she now has a home.

She loved me more though.

And all thats left for me to say is to say Woof growl whine bark bark scnuffle – which I’m sure you can translte your self.

We hung around, did a few shos, interviewed the event organiser, but not getting the gold that we wanted, time with the best of the best, the guys who would shit all over Miramar, Iceman and wouldn’t even entertain Kelly Mcguiness’s advances. Problem was that they were all getting prepared for flying through gates at 230 mph 10 ft off the ground. I mean why would they need to get in the zone for that? Ponces.

I shan’t go into what we filmed at the air show other than we did get (some) interviews and that the Army helicopter shat all over the navy one.

Keep an eye out for this episode in the next couple of weeks and I shall leave you with something that I’ve posted before – Quentin Tarrantino’s interpretation of Topgun. And the top gun theme as well. Whats a blog with out some homo erotic behavior eh?

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Keen viewers of the Eleventh will realise that we filmed a show form down there – a show that James dubbed “OJ’s great day out” which it was, thank you very much Bedders.

The great thing about the festival in year gone by was the fantastic atmosphere, the sense of Joviality (are they the same thing) the kookiness of what is a bit of a pointless festival in some ways – the place shuts at ten and the music isn’t terribly loud due to the middle class neighbors.

So this year going down the first thing that this blogger has a problem with was the queues…. you queue for everything, from drinks to the bogs. The place was heaving, to the point that there almost wasn’t sitting room – in a fucking park! to get into the bar we had to almost fight our way to the bar, and after 45 minutes of scuffling then you got a warm over priced drink.

Its was enough to drive me to drugs, but I bet there would have been a queue there as well….. seriously though don’t do drugs kids, although I hear smack is very moreish. And not in the North African sense.

So basically I was unimpressed by what they had to offer, I feel a year older, a year wiser yet a year sadder.

Although really cares what the hell I thinks we eh?

Lets rejoice in happier times…… This was the Joy of Last year’s Lovebox

Now I’m sat in on a thursday night having just done the washing up while watching the start of Big Brother (is it eight? do I care?) and the only word I seem to be able to mutter is “COCK”, cause that is what they all are. Without exception. I challenge you to watch BB for more than 20 seconds before you utter that most fantastic of describing words at our TV screen.

But then I may moce, and I do, but here I am sat here watching the “COCKS” co in, scream, pretend they like each other and generally act like “COCKS”.

So early judgement of whos gonna win? actually no, thats passe and I can guarantee that every other blog will do the same thing. Lets go with who will be the most hated and take the plaque off Charly Uchea, Jo O’Mera and Jade “jabba’s Palace” Goody to be our most “chersished celebrity.

I’ve thought of 4 categories….

Most likely to be lynched.

Most likely to get their respective twinkle/sausage out on camera

Most Likeley to have a spread in the Daily Star when they get out

Most likely to make a shit load of money

Feel free to let me know your thoughts on those categories if you can be arsed, if not then I shall watch tonights proceedings and post later with my guess at my early contenders.

COCKS! (apart from the blind one, he seems alright – watch him be a closet nazi or something now)

If you have watched the latest 11th you’ll know that I met the organizer and reigning UK Air guitar championship. Lovely guys; what Lemmy would be if he wasn’t a smack head.

But this is just the first part of this show as on the August the 8th at the UK Airguitar Championships 08 Johnny Hotsausage is coming out of retirement to take on the best the UK has to offer. Here he is supporting the Damned with his band the Spunk rockets back in 07…

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And for once ‘m actually going to prepare for something. I have an entrance planned, a costume and a “gimmick” (it involves my underwear)

At the moment I can’t decide on a song. These are some of the early front runners…..

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The advice I got was to choose something that has a wild guitar section, speed changes are also a good. So if you fancy letting me know any suggestions then that’d be lovely, or if you want to be my Air groupie then I can also accommodate that.

But a few years back some ingenious guys n gals decided to take it to the next level and created the World Air Guitar Championships. Now obviously if you are going to have a World Championship a national championship will be needed to select the mighty specimen who will represent his or her country.

That’s where OJ and this online comedy video of The Eleventh Commandment comes in.

Yup OJ met up with Zac “The Magnet” Monro twice world champion and co-founder of Air Guitar UK to get the low down on the whole shebang..

And as he is going to be competing in the UK  2008 Air Guitar UK Championships at the Islington Academy on Friday the 8th August 7pm, he also bagged himself a few tips form Gabi Matzeu alias “The Hoxton Creeper” twice UK champ and current UK champ.

Make sure you go see the show..Oj will be competing under the name of ‘johnny hot sausage’.. from what I’ve seen so far a fiver says he won’t make it through the first round! Actually he probably will! as he does seem to pull em out of the bag from time to time..

Full details: http://www.airguitaruk.com

Starting today we interviewed the current reigning UK Air guitar champion… The first guy you see here is that man….

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And it’ll become a 2 pronged show as during the interview I have decided to take part in the championships to see how well I do on the 8th August.
Then on sunday we are breaking out our boogaloo at the Sony Ericsson BBoy Championships – I may show them my awesome worm.

And monday day sees us finally filming a show we’ve been trying to sort out for about 4 months…… Burlesque! Chrys Columbine will be my teacher.

So there – for the bosses who think me and Jimmy just go out and booze….. well we do but we need to get some work done as well!